Down and Dirty on the Darkside


Day of the barcrawl. I wake up a few hours before to let the driver know to pick us up. Actually…itishot woke me up before I had intended to, but it did give me enough time to say “good morning” to “the biter” (Culvers will get that one).

Me and Rob showed up to the Cherry 2 at 11:55. Only 1 other board member there besides us. I was beginning to wonder if we’d been set up. Not to worry as about 400 guys turned up a little after 12. Our driver had given me a viagra a few nights before. Never tried it before, but figured the crawl would be a good testing ground. I wasn’t sure if it would happen, but sure enough hairloss was able to scrounge up 2 baht buses for the trip.

Off we go

First stop was Dao bar on soi Khao Noi (boonsungpan I think). Pretty nice place…good atmosphere. I had a cute thang plump down next to me after the initial shock of all these ATMs…I mean hansum man taking over the place. It didn’t take long for me to get the perv on and check her out a bit. She had braces and I was assured that they would not affect the smoking. I offered up the rate of 500baht for ST thinking that it was fair enough on the Darkside…not. She asked 700, I figured I’d wait around for another fish. So I just chilled for the rest of the time. Eventually I noticed my face becoming a bit hot and figured it was from the viagra.

Dao bar

Next stop was supposed to be the Black Pearl 2, but we got a bit off track somehow and ended up at the ??? bar. Can’t remember the name, but an open air bar. Very nice looking place with a few cuties working. Everybody decided to relax until we got our bearings. Luckily one of the bartenders used to work at the Black Pearl and told our taxi drivers the way.

Shark teeth!

Next stop Black Pearl 2. Suprisingly this place was already pretty populated and most of the girls had been taken already. One of the girls had a party going on so there was plenty of food available. I just sat around drinking and shooting the shit with the guys.

After BP we went to the Butterfly bar. Very dark place, but comfortable couches with comfortable ladies. I was getting to know one of the girls while itishotiniraq was passed out next to me. We sat there for a bit, me playing with her pussy and ass. The viagra was spot on as always…I think. I usually get had pretty easy, but I think the V definitely does help out…especially with recovery time. Anyways I quoted the 500baht ST and was once again assured that that was not going to happen. This time it took about 20 mins to just say fuck it and get my nut. I decided on a 500baht BJ in the toilet…classy. It wasn’t long before I knew that I wouldn’t bust with just this and let her know that she’d get her 700 for boom boom. So I hiked up her skirt and bent her over the toilet. Images like that really help out in the quick-cum department for me. After my toilet visit I went back to drinking, watching itishot sleep and playing with her butthole.

toilet acrobat

This hottie was caught using the laundry outside her shop that was hanging up as an underarm wiper. Like…she used a shirt to wipe off her sweaty pits…

I believe the next place was the Paradise bar. Quiet place with a small amount of ladies. I just looked around, shit, and drank. After that we piled into the buses once more and sped down the road to N o i ‘ s bar. Only after having a scare watching Aussieexpat play chicken with the motorbikes on the soi.

Noi’s is always a good time and had the stew ready for us when we got there. I just played pool a bit and drank. Talked with Bow for awhile. I would’ve loved to take her with me, or go ST, but I already had a lady that would be showing up at the bar pretty soon.

Crazyfox called earlier that day and we were to meet him and our ladies at Noi’s. The baht buses were loaded back up one last time and we bid farewell to all the sexyman and waited for crazy. They finally showed up and we all went to the house to swim and become intoxicated. Hell of a day and got to meet a lot of cool guys.


Today would be itishot’s last night in town so we lazed around the house for a bit until going to Carrefour to pick up a few things. Later that night he cooked up some tacos that almost took me out for the night. After recovering from the tacos we all got in the pool and started back drinking. We told the driver to come over and after the rains showed up with a friend of his. They ended up staying a bit and the driver got shitfaced as usual. Finally I had to hit the sack and did.


Crazyfox left around 6am with his wifey to fly to Chang Mai. Had to say bye bye to itishotiniraq around 2pm. We were all pretty hungover and I felt pretty shitty. We thought we’d leave a few appliances and food at the house for the next people, but the 2 Thai girls raided everything. I was later scolded for not taking the case of giant Tiger bottles. Itishot decided to give it to the security guy at the front gate. I’m sure he was happier than a pig in shit. I used Mr. Toom to get back into town where I checked in for a night at the Sawasdee Mansion on Soi Honey Inn. The first room didn’t have a phone or room service menu…oh ya…it wasn’t cleaned. So we called the front desk with my mobile and were told to wait while it was cleaned…what the fuck?! We let them know we wanted a new room and were given one. It’s hard for me though in any place that doesn’t have room service.

Later that night we went out to see a few guys at Megabreak on Soi Diana. Met the guys and shot a bit of pool with them and one of their ladies. We decided to head to the on Soi LK. The little lady left for something…I forget, but I told her I’d call when I got back to the room. Chilled out for a bit at the RH drinking and chatting. I met Alex there (nice guy). Another owner of another bar (I think) came in a bit later…white lady. Didn’t catch her name, but I had to roll. I was starting to get a bit tired and needed to get some sleep. I think…I’m not sure if I went anywhere else, but I think I just went back to the hotel.


Went to the Welkom Inn first thing the next morning. Got a nice little room right next to the pool. This time I couldn’t pick up a good wifi signal though…shitty, but oh well. Boomboomed lady about 5 times in about as many hours. I guess this Viagra stuff is legit…and lasts a while. later in the evening went to Soi 8 for some pool and drinks. I brought the Chalaos bar a bottle of Absinthe I’d picked up in Carrefour. I figured some of them might like it and probably hadn’t tried any before. I sat there and got pretty fucked up before going to the Cherry for a bit to say hi to Mild.

After the Cherry I took a bus to Soi 2 to hang out at the Classroom. Played pool with one of the owners for a while before finally heading to room. I gave the lady some shit because she sent me a message meant for another. It wasn’t whorish or anything and I didn’t really care. I’d had a laugh with her before reading messages all these guys were sending her. We thought it was pretty funny. By now though I was drunk and felt like riling her up a bit. We tend to yak yak each other when we’re both drunk. Anyways I figured I have a break from her the next day. It was time to see some new ladies anyways.

Woke up today with a shag and food. Horrible hangover. We said our goodbyes and she cried and shit, but it is how it is. Just got a text from Bruiser…heading to the Pig n Whistle to start off the night.

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